CONTENTS

Prologue
1 Mail-Order Gerbils
2 The Gerbil Whisperer
3 Even Girls Like Gerbils!
4 A Navy Man in Kansas
5 Doin' Time in Leavenworth
6 Trading My Bikini for a Horse
7 Dad Buys Himself a Gerbil Farm
8 Who's Going to Marry Her Now?
9 My Sister the Time Traveler
10 Welcome to the Poor Farm
11 Nobody's Business but Ours
12 Do It Yourself or Die Trying
13 The Man Without a Nose
14 My Mom Wears Jodhpurs
15 A Lady Always Wears Underpants
16 Saving the Blond Gerbil
17 Rebellions
18 What a Gerbil Farmer Does for Fun
19 The Gerbil Czar Retires
Epilogue The American Gerbil Show